Why Is Moving So Damn Hard?

by Terry Ballantyne

Moving is so bloody hard isn’t it?

It is so daunting, such an overwhelming task, that many stay in unhappy conditions rather than move all that stuff.  But here is the secret, the heart of it,  as  ee Cummings would say, ‘here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;”

Everyone hates moving.  And after 20 years helping people move, I know for certain there are two distinct parts:

The Emotional and the Physical.

Physical:  stuff is heavy, dusty, awkward, personal and tough to throw away.  Which brings us to  part 2

Emotional: Every single thing you own,  you have attached meaning to. The egg whisk you bought to make that new boyfriend omelets.  The graduation key chain your daughter gave you when she left college. The watercolor you did on that art retreat in France. Each item is a cascade of memories from Your Life, the life  that is now making some kind of radical shift or you would not be packing would you?  You would be enjoying some binge watching of a series you love, waiting for the Hagen Daz to get softer, or working in the garden.

But here you are,  standing over each item, weighing its weight, feeling the psychic space in your mind, willing yourself to let it go.  You put it down, resolved to decide on this item next, right after the 5 lb weights you bought to tone up your arms are decided upon.

This brings us to  Part 2A,  which is  the letting go of the intangibles!  Get rid of all the yarn you bought when you wanted to knit, or the fishing equipment you bought to be a deepsea fisherman?  NOOOOO!  If you let that go it feels like letting go of the dream, forever casting away any hope of achievement of those things. “TOO PAINFUL”.   Not today, maybe I can still try.  Most likely at this point you need to sit down, and eat some ice cream.   It takes weeks to let go of these precious things. And it’s exhausting before you ever lift a box.

Need help? I have coached countless folks through this minefield.  It can be done!