I always thought this was about a woman’s period! You know, the passage from maidenhood to mavenhood. The dreaded transition from youth to a life of a bored and sexless routine. Gray days of wrinkles and regrets. Well, guess again! The real “Change” is happening to couples and singles who realize they are getting…
From Changing the Conversation
Trump, Zika and Kidney Infections
How can we plan for our old age when we don’t believe in it? The world has gone mad we tell ourselves. We blew our March Madness bracket already, The Donald is scaring us, refugees are certainly coming to our shores next, Zika is frightening, the seas are rising, How can you start seriously…
What is aging?
When I observe our most elder people in the community, it is easy to assume they are sort of little shells of a life lived long ago. I see them shuffle or amble slowly at the market, sometimes shaky limbs reaching for the milk, or a hesitant hand pick over a bin of tomatoes. They seem hollow, as if getting to the market and home is about all they can manage. I often wonder what keeps them going? Looking from the outside it seems impossible that they have anything motivating them to go another day in this complex world. Generally…
Shouting Tenderly
How to you shout ” I love you!” and sound like you mean it? A reader wrote to me and told this story: “I am caring for my mom who has mini stroke related dementia. Her intellect and observations about life are still, on occasion, profound and moving. For a moment you feel you can…
Dirty Little Secrets
Our culture tends to romanticize things or speak in euphemisms about the hard stuff. Nobody tells new mothers just how challenging the 24 hour presence of a newborn is. It would sound ungrateful. We soldiered on in relative silence, and unless you have the luxury and the joy of a family nearby that consists of…
Don’t Boss The Boss!
Don’t Boss the Boss! My good friend Becky Peters at Lifespan, a high quality geriatric management firm here in Santa Cruz told me this: “Don’t boss the boss!” She could not have been more correct. One thing I have learned, and if you stop and look within a moment, no one perceives themselves as old!…
The Dog Friends
The Dog Friends One never knows what the group you call family will consist of. We are all so far flung from our natural extended family that in a crisis they could not do much for us. With a distance of 100 miles away or more , they can’t wrap there arms around you, make a…
The Buttery
I took my Mom out for lunch today. I watched her marvel at the hub bub and pace at The Buttery and I can’t help but reflect on the world now and the world she grew up in. She once rode 2 miles to town on a cardboard box, like a skim board being pulled…
The Crucible
The Crucible As the number of people caring for an older adult rapidly increases, the conversation is, at last, bubbling to the surface. Questions of deep emotion are being asked. Because the pioneers who have been caring for a family member or PIN, (person in need), are no longer laboring in silence. They want to…
Life as a journey!
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!” ― Hunter S. Thompson tags: life
Navigating Olderhood 