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The Change of Life

I always thought this was about a woman’s period!  You know, the passage from maidenhood to mavenhood.  The dreaded transition from youth  to a life of a bored and sexless routine.  Gray days of wrinkles and regrets.  Well, guess again!   The real “Change” is happening to couples and singles who realize they are getting…

Warp Speed and New Skills

Chances are,  as we begin another and rather tenuous new year, you may be feeling disoriented. If it is  not  our Commander in Tweet that may have you nervous, or the rise of Lone Wolf terrorists, or even the threat to bananas from Fusamium Wilt, it is the sheer pace of acceleration the world is facing. Consider this, when traders trade at the speed of light, it affects the market negatively so they built in a speed pump of 350 microseconds, to slow things down. * You may not agree, but if 350 microseconds is a speed bump, I need…

Tangled

I have managed my mother’s care for 18 months. I say managed because I no longer give her a shower, or make daily meals.  I am the umbrella under which the caregivers do the daily work. I manage their moods and needs and keep them propped up.  They are present and have feelings and voices.…

Why Is Moving So Damn Hard?

Moving is so bloody hard isn’t it? It is so daunting, such an overwhelming task, that many stay in unhappy conditions rather than move all that stuff.  But here is the secret, the heart of it,  as  ee Cummings would say, ‘here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;” Everyone hates moving.  And after 20 years helping people move, I know for certain there are two distinct parts: The Emotional and the Physical. Physical:  stuff is heavy, dusty,…

Another Day, Another Reality

  11,000 people turn 65 a day.   1 in 3 seniors dies with dementia. The duality of emotions dealing with these seniors and the disease that ravages them are heartbreaking. Picture someone you love, and then imagine a time when you wanted to bean them. Right? It appears to me that the very people we…

Where do I fit?

Remember back in junior high when, if you were NOT one of the golden children, the perennially popular, confident, well dressed kids, the whole idea of lunch and who to sit with and where to hang out had all this social import.   The pecking order was there, established by the small tribes who identified their circle by…

What is aging?

When I observe our most elder people in the community, it is easy to assume they are sort of little shells of  a life  lived long ago. I see them shuffle or amble slowly at the market, sometimes shaky limbs reaching for the milk, or a hesitant hand pick over a bin of tomatoes.  They seem hollow, as if getting to the market and home is about all they can manage. I often wonder what keeps them going?  Looking from the outside it seems impossible that they have anything motivating them to go another day in this complex world.  Generally…

The Last Spring

  In my role as a Realtor I have a unique view into the complexities of selling homes, and none is more layered and surprisingly emotional than selling the family home or a parent’s home. In my role as a caregiver, I just had  the odd experience of being both a home seller, caregiver and Realtor and seeing it from all views.  I had to find someone to help me sell my Mom’s home. The time had come. I was not prepared for the kaleidoscope of emotion this unleased. Standing on my Mom’s porch, surveying what had been her refuge…

Time To Downsize?

What can you expect as challenges in selling Mom or Dad’s home? Mom or Dad last sold at least a decade or more ago. Pre internet, pre HGTV, pre techology.   Homes did not have to look like a magazine ad. Mom and Dad put their house on the market in its everyday condition and hoped…

Hug Power

What are you looking forward to in 2016? Let’s hope it is the state altering power of touch. While even our touch receptors start to betray us in our 20s, diminishing by about 1% a year, our centenarians still appreciate a good, ( but gentle please) hug. Many of your friends may have lost a…